Attention as Change

Observing your thoughts is valuable, but how do you turn this awareness into real change?

In the West, we often rush to categorize ideas and capitalize on the promising ones, yet this approach falls short when it comes to transforming thought patterns. Shifting these patterns requires a gentler, less intuitive approach—one that, interestingly, aligns with a more nuanced understanding of the brain.

Reinforcement and Neural Pathways: A Digital Signal Analogy

I like to use a digital signal processor as an analogy for how the brain operates. You take an action, it’s successful, and a neuron is established. The next time you face a similar situation, that neuron fires off around 40mV or more, encouraging you to repeat the behavior.

Occasionally, however, this habit proves ineffective, prompting the pathway to develop an inhibitor—something that raises the threshold for firing, reducing the likelihood of repeating the behavior. Essentially, you learn that this technique doesn’t always apply. Yet, there are times when, despite the inhibitor, the technique succeeds, leading to a slight inhibition of the inhibitor itself, creating a nuanced, adaptable response in the brain’s circuitry.

Over time, a complex network of amplifiers and inhibitors forms around this behavior, reinforcing it into a strong habit. The longer this web of neural connections proves successful, the more resilient—and resistant to change—it becomes. In essence, “old habits die hard.”

Breaking the Habit Loop: The Power of Honest Emotion

Contrary to common belief, habits aren’t as immovable as they seem. I discovered an approach that can shift even the most entrenched habits relatively quickly: by observing your thoughts and applying genuine feelings of “like” or “dislike” to what you uncover.

For a long time, I harbored unchecked “hero complex” thoughts. Whenever someone acted in a way I disliked or circumstances placed me somewhere I didn’t want to be, I’d respond by imagining myself in a heroic scenario that vindicated my position and proved others wrong. Looking back, I see this mindset was loaded with flawed assumptions about people, situations, and even my own role within them.

One day, I recognized just how often I fell into this pattern. Almost instinctively, I paused and thought, “I really don’t like thinking this way.” Within a few days, I noticed the habit beginning to fade. It took some time to understand why, but gradually I realized that this specific distaste for the thought process itself had a unique impact, unlike broader, more generalized statements.

Today, I’ve come to see that a wide range of thought patterns can be quickly softened or strengthened simply by saying, with genuine feeling, “I don’t like thinking this way” or “I like having thoughts like this.” This isn’t a scientific conclusion from a neuroscientist—just an observation from an armchair philosopher.

Using This Insight to Change

Recognizing the influence of our own emotional responses to thought patterns opens up a powerful way to alter them. By simply acknowledging whether we genuinely like or dislike a particular thought, we can start to steer our mind toward healthier, more constructive habits. This isn’t about forcing ourselves to feel differently; rather, it’s about observing our natural preferences and using them to reshape our thinking. The beauty of this approach is that it relies on honesty—authentically responding to our thoughts rather than trying to impose judgment on them.

Once you notice a recurring thought you’d rather avoid, try expressing your genuine feelings about it. Saying, “I don’t like thinking this way” signals to your brain that this pattern isn’t desirable, and over time, the intensity of the thought can start to fade. This technique is especially helpful with intrusive or self-critical thoughts, which often become less frequent when we openly acknowledge that they don’t serve us well. Gradually, it becomes easier to let these thoughts go, as they lose their hold over your mind.

Similarly, reinforcing positive thoughts by saying, “I like thinking this way,” strengthens the neural pathways that support them. For example, if you find yourself reflecting on a satisfying accomplishment or feeling gratitude, acknowledge your enjoyment of those thoughts. This not only makes these thought patterns more resilient but also encourages your mind to seek them out more naturally. In essence, you’re teaching your brain to favor patterns that support your well-being.

This approach doesn’t require deep introspection or lengthy analysis; it works simply by observing your thoughts and honestly responding to them. It’s a subtle but effective way to create mental habits that align with your values and goals. Over time, the brain adapts, amplifying thoughts you affirm and weakening those you reject. This method allows for gradual change without the strain of forcibly trying to control or alter your mindset.

As with any new practice, consistency is key. The more often you acknowledge your honest feelings about your thoughts, the faster you’ll notice a shift. Thought patterns that once felt rigid or unyielding can soften, opening space for healthier habits to take root. In this way, simply embracing or releasing thoughts with authentic emotion can be a gentle yet powerful catalyst for meaningful, lasting change.