Stormrider
Sat Feb 28 07:12:48 -06:00 2026
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Epoch 1772284368, Day 59, Week 9 Prickle-Prickle, Chaos 59, 3192
PLUG IT IN!!!
Yesterday’s severe attack of Meniere’s — only classified as severe by the fact that Meclizine took some time to arrest it, not by the intensity of the vertigo — nevertheless hangs on in my mind, coloring my perceptions and giving me the uneasy, restless mood of a potential hypochondriac. All the signs, from weird spring weather to the wobbly disposition, seem to simply identify the reality. Still, the fidgety escape mode won’t settle.
Obviously the energy is there, and if I take the high road in my interpretation, it’s good energy. In the last two days, I filed my taxes for the year, which will result in a larger refund than I expected; I took care of my prescription drug policy to go along with Medicare, which removes most of my medicine costs; and I came up with a killer, small purse design, that can be morphed into a dozen different specific sewing products. So the week is clearly a win. But like most humans, I focus on the negative.
And my mental weather is guarded. Am I imagining the slightly unstable pressure situation in my head, simply because I had some strong vertigo yesterday, or is it hanging on still?
Outside, it’s foggy, which makes me wonder what all kinds of weather can we cram into one weekend?
The loop is extraordinarily positive. Sitting down with Sharan Last night for 10 minutes, looking at my prototype small purse, produced a whole bunch of variations and a fix for the closure problem. I like these kind of loops.
Also lingering is the idea that I need to find another life-changing action for today. In the last two days I found three. In fact, on Thursday, I found one. On Friday, I found two. So if I keep that streak going, today I should find three. That’s aspirational, but if you’re honest about it, aspirations are all that drives us.
It would be easy to hang around in bed and say that my nap is unfinished, but I went to sleep at 8:45 last night, was only awake for about an hour in the middle of the night, and then finally picked up my phone at 6:20, so there’s no conceivable excuse for going back to sleep at this point.
I think for maybe the first time in my life, or at least the first time that I can remember, clearly, I am actually pushing myself out of devotion to valuable ideas and things I actually want to do, rather than discipline and obligation. Clearly, the obligations are there, but I’m not addressing them in the same old way anymore.
You might say I’m anchored in possibility instead of responsibility at this moment. It would be nice to retain that.
And it’s weird. It’s almost like I’m resisting continuing to lie here in the bed and actually write this journal entry, because I know there are things that I need to get up and do, come Hell or high water.
The purse I’m calling the basic phone sling, with the tagline “The Mini Purse for Maxi Use,“ is suddenly a real thing. I’ve got more than enough denim, canvas, and durable upholstery material that’s suitable for the outside, and probably three or four dozen choices for lining material. Got a ton of the dun-colored, upholstery thread that I’d like to use, which permits, narrow, or seam allowances. I’ve got the machine, space, and time to work on this. Yeah, I’ve got a lingering sinus headache, or maybe what I would call a Meniere’s Migraine, but I’m already certain I can work around that. That’s kind of the hell or high water part.
And I should be able to nail other epic tasks today. Will I find three of them? Good question. And of course, at some point, they search for escalating epic counts becomes a waste of time.
Of course, I’m overlooking the very first epic result of today: I’m chomping at the bit to get up and get things done because I’m devoted to the kind of results that I’ve gotten in the last couple of days. This feels like where I want to be.
One might say the pivot, then, it’s a jump up and get moving. Another might say that the pivot is to gate this impulse in the way that one contains steam to produce energy. Another good question.
Either way, the signal boost is to stick with a task long enough to bring it to an epic stopping point. And that might be the real pivot
Today’s rare value, of course, is that I’m having this internal debate at all. And not trying to make a list of the things I can do to make myself feel like I’ve done enough to then loaf for the rest of the day. May not be rare for you, but it feels rare for me
So here’s the day we’re all the friction is internal. Which way are we gonna go? What are we gonna get started? How can we get back to this productive activity that now feels like addictive candy? You don’t see that kind of friction every day.
Clearly, keeping this dichotomy open is the main thing to keep alive. It’s not fully definable in words, but it is completely comprehensible in emotional terms.
And I think what needs to fall away is already on the floor and can’t get back on the table. I’m not gonna help it.
Genuine ambition, driven by devotion and enthusiasm for rare and valuable achievements, spurred on by an escalating daily ladder of similar successes, can move us forward farther than we’d ever imagine, even when conditions are not perfect and resources are not infinite. Engage others, follow your drive, and be willing to leave something for tomorrow, so the fire will kick up again when we wake up.
Our inner fire burns brightest when we devote ourselves to rare and valuable results. Looking back at a string of blazing wins pushes us forward, and continuously seeking genuine accomplishment, whatever our condition or resources, always leaves us with a fire that is ready to kick up with the next sunrise.
Our inner fire defies simple biology. We all have needs and wants: hunger, companionship, security. There is always a daily grind for sustenance. In the midst of all this labor, our hearts desire rare things of lasting value, things that we can’t genuinely acquire by the mere exchange of value. To feel authentic, we must create these rare and valuable things, or the fire within becomes a bed of hot coals that burns our feet.
Want-strive-acquire is an addiction loop, fueled only by discipline and obedience to social expectation. We see what’s on offer, do uninspired and possibly distasteful things to gather enough mundane value to exchange, and then acquire the wanted object. But joy fades quickly, so we slog our way through another loop, somehow knowing that this is a treadmill, a path that gets us nowhere and leads to nowhere.
By contrast, the vision-devotion-craft cycle is a creation loop. We see something in our mind’s eye, illuminated by the flickering light of our inner fire – something that, as far as we know, has never existed before. Giving in to the urge, we devote ourselves to studying the vision, developing the skills, and learning how to bring this vision about. And in the process, we not only create something new, we also develop variations and offshoots, sparks we can share with others. And through it all, our joy increases, and we can’t wait for the next sunrise to continue creating.
We expect this kind of visionary work out of geniuses, people who appear to have extraordinary skills and intelligence and drive. Society clings to that model, encouraging us to “be normal and fit in,” in the process overlooking our own Inner Fire. We settle for discipline over devotion while quietly cursing or idolizing those who rise above, who make use of their inborn capacity to envision and create.
In the Parable of the Talents, we see three servants who are given money to hold while the master travels (see the middle of Matthew 25 if you’re unfamiliar). Two of them put that money to use, while a third just buries it. When the master returns, the two investors are congratulated, while the mundane servant is berated and thrown out. Whether you ascribe this tale to divine wisdom, mythology, or fanciful storytelling, the point still stands: Lower esteem comes to those who simply go through the motions and ignore their aspirations.
By the way, those aspirations quickly become self-sustaining.
Pick just one day, any day when you can devote a little time to something that feels rare and valuable, something that makes a difference. Take your grandmother some flowers; visit a hospital patient who has no family; take a hungry friend out for a nice meal, no strings, no sales pitch. This may not be your Inner Fire, exactly, but it will stoke the flames enough to make you consider the same path tomorrow.
And when tomorrow comes, remember what you did yesterday, and make every effort to carve out at least a little creative time to work on something that feels epic. In only a few days, the pattern becomes a positive habit. Every day you’ll wake up, ready to jump out of bed with enthusiasm, a distaste for the mundane, and deep desires to focus on uninterrupted blocks of time to do meaningful, special, rare and valuable things. Authentic things. Memorable things.
Money and fame are fleeting, so you can’t give them your full confidence. Real achievement – something you’ve crafted with your heart, your hands, your presence, and your rapidly-developing skills – won’t wash away in the mists of time. Nobody will soon forget that you smiled at them. Handmade gifts and kind words live forever. Don’t ever neglect to do what only you can do, and make sure you get very good at doing it and sharing it with others.
The warmth and glow of our Inner Fire corresponds exactly to how much time we spend stoking it with things that genuinely matter. Every day doesn’t need to be a forest fire. Your best ideas and results come from your own hard work. No argument can refute craft, care, and compassion, demonstrated daily. This is why I always say:
Burn slow. Build deep. Be the proof.
Note: Purge done items from the daily template as often as they start to really annoy you.
| Date | Time | Type | Glucose | BP | Weight | |——-|—–|——-|——-|——|——| | 2/27/26 | 09:20 | Fasting | 292 | | | | 2/28/26 | 08:20 | Fasting | 272 | 146/78 | 253 |
After restlessly doing my emologent and updating my blog, I’m finally getting up and moving. I put the coffee on, fed the cat, took my morning blood sugar, reading, synced it with my phone, send a message to my nutrition coach, and took my meds. After some fuddling around, I took my blood pressure and got my weight. I probably won’t repeat this journal block every morning, just throwing it in here to remind myself of all the little things I’m supposed to do before I do anything else. As a society, we need bio-beds in the worst way.
On to coffee, and a morning journal of the inner fire essay. I quit doing them every day for a while, but they’re just in my blood. This morning, I even tried using AI again, but it still doesn’t even begin to understand what I’m trying to say or how to say it eloquently and with feeling. Probably need to give up on that hope. Wrote a decent essay, demonstrating all my steps here in the journal (no AI help here, the writing is so seventh-grade).
Chatted with my wife while eating “breakfast:” a small piece of sausage from a pig my sister-in-law had butchered, some fresh speckled butter beanscooked in butter, and a big pile of yellow squash (also fresh) cooked in olive oil and Parmesan cheese. That’s kinda the diet for those who don’t want metabolic issues with the terrible food we have available these days.
Time to shower, shave, dress, and all that stuff. I mean, it’s fun hanging around in pajamas, robe, and slippers, but can’t go to town that way, if I decide to go to town.