- Start small and build gradually: A mosaic is more beautiful than the finest concrete — and far less likely to get you sued for shoddy construction.
- Say what you mean: Telepathy is still in beta testing, and the user documentation is terrible.
- Network: Who else will appreciate your “I’m not a robot” jokes, or at least pretend to laugh?
- Divide and conquer: Because life is essentially one long strategy board game, and yes, you are the pawn.
- Keep it simple: Complex plans involve running. Who has the stamina for that?
- Do one thing well: Unicorns are famous for only one horn, and nobody calls them underachievers.
- Be who you are: Even a bent wire can carry a great light — and possibly win an art prize in the process.
- Build for strength, not just speed: The tortoise won the race. The hare just got better TikTok views.
- Speak clearly, listen carefully: Otherwise you’ll end up in a debate on string theory when you only asked what time lunch was.
- Underpromise and overdeliver: Everyone loves a surprise — especially when it isn’t socks for their birthday, again.
- Practice the Prime Directive: Unless you’re in a sci-fi movie, in which case you should definitely ignore it for dramatic effect.
- Hack: “Try it and see” is a good principle, except in skydiving, lion taming, or electrical work without gloves.
- Use what you have: Unless it’s a floppy disk. Then you should probably just frame it as retro wall art.
- Use levers, not people: People make lousy levers — they keep demanding coffee breaks and dental plans.
- Release early, release often: Otherwise you’re just hoarding half-baked ideas, and there’s no collector’s market for those.
- Distrust all claims of the one true way: Except for pizza. Pizza is always the answer.
- Think ahead, but don’t worship your plans: Not all who wander are lost; some are just searching the couch cushions for their keys.